he drives me nuts. i got drunk last night…left three voicemails throughout the night. Not outrageous evil ones, just hi baby i miss you & one of them I told him about my paps heart attack and how I was going to visit him in the hospital because i was really worried… he doesn’t call back until 9:30 TONIGHT… are you fucking kidding me?… such a slap in the face… he does not give a shiiiit about me…. i didn’t answer cuz i was in the movies… but i’m not planning on calling back either, and i’m gonna try to ignore a few more calls…taste of his own medicine…except the difference is, it won’t even bother him…wow… idk what i’m going to do but i can’t keep getting disrespected this way.. i rly can’t.. this retarded bullshit is getting ridiculous… why’d i have to get so fucking attached to someone who could care less if i’m alive or dead??… i’m such a fucking idiot.
i didn’t sleep at all last night…it’s 2 in the morning and I have to be awake at 6 for class… but my minds racing and i’m just so sick of this crap he keeps pulling…so i’ll probably just stay up…again…
no, I am not ok. i am exhausted. life is exhausting. loving people is exhausting. and thinking you’ve lost someone you love? well, that’s the most exhausting thing of all.
So pardon me while I burst into flames, I’ve had enough of the world and its people’s mindless games.
I take a look around; it’s evident the scene has changed.
And there are times when I feel improved, improved upon the past.
Then there are times when I can’t seem to understand at all
and yes it seems as though I’m going nowhere really fucking fast.. I cannot take this anymore
Saying everything I’ve said before
All these words they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
“i thought that letting go would be easy. easier than this.
there’s cement in my shoes and i can’t seem to move.
i wouldn’t know which way to go anyways..”
you won’t see tears shed from these eyes, not over you.
i wasn’t worth your time? you aren’t worth the breakdown.
It made me wonder how many times we forgive
Just because we don’t want to lose someone,
Even if they don’t deserve our forgiveness.
“Even more, I had never meant to love him. One thing I truly knew – knew it in the pit of my stomach, in the center of my bones, knew it from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet, knew it deep in my empty chest – was how love gave someone the power to break you. I’d been broken beyond repair.”
means the world to you, especially when goodbye isn’t what you want.”
and all your dreams are waking up.
And right now I wish I could follow you to the shores.
One thing you can say for sure: You gave him a fair shot. You stuck with him when many women would have left. You love him more deeply than most people will ever be loved in their life. That makes you a good person. And that, really, is what matters.
“i guess i was tired of disappointment, of being let down. because the number of times i’ve hurt is uncountable and the number of times i’ve let go is unbearable.”
you’re not very easy to forget.
I do my thing and you do yours. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, then it is beautiful.
“go after her. fuck, don’t sit there and wait for her to call. go after her because that’s what you should do if you love someone. don’t wait for them to give you a sign cause it may never come. don’t let people happen to you. don’t let me happen to you. or her. she’s not a fucking television show or a tornado. there are people iI might have loved if they had gotten on the airplane or run down the street after me or called me up drunk at four in the morning because they needed to tell me right now and because they cannot regret this. i always thought i’d be the only one doing crazy things for people who would never give enough of a fuck to do it back or act like idiots or be entirely vulnerable and honest. making someone fall in love with you is easy and flying 3000 miles on four days notice because you cant just sit there and do nothing and breathe into telephones is not everyone’s idea of love but it is the way i can recognize it because that is what i do. go scream it and be with her in meaningful ways because that is beautiful and that is generous and that is what loving someone really is. that is raw and that is unguarded and all that is really worth anything. really.”
There’s no need to be so terrible when you know I would do anything for you. This is so laughable, whatever happened to knowing that this was forever. File off the sharpness of feelings so I’ll be protected from all of your evil when you come round my love, I’ll be gone, finally done, never to come to your rescue.
“There’s a big fucking world out there. It’s messy, and it’s chaotic, and it’s never, it’s never ever the thing you’d expect. It’s okay to be scared, but you cannot allow your fears to turn you into an asshole. Not when it comes to the people who really love you, the people who need you.”
you keep telling me to be glad for what we had while we had it. that the brightest flame burns quickest. which means you saw us as a candle. and I saw us as the sun.
“can’t promise i’ll fix all your problems but i can promise
you won’t have to face them alone.”
“she’s strong enough to walk away, but broken enough to have to look back.”
i’m the girl who prefers one rose instead of a dozen. i’m the girl who would rather stay in on a friday night than go to a wild party with random strangers. i’m the girl who wouldn’t make you wait on her hand and foot, but would do anything to make you happy. i’m the girl who would enjoy having a movie night rather than going to some fancy restaurant. i’m the girl who would rather stay up all night sharing secrets than going out and getting drunk. i’m the girl who won’t make you hold her bags, but would rather hold your hand instead. i’m the girl who will love you more than
anyone could possibly dream of. i’m the girl who would give the world the world to see you smile. i’m the girl who cries herself to sleep at night thinking of you, when i know i’m the last thing on your mind. i’m the girl who feels alone, even in a crowded room. yeah, i’m that girl.
“sometimes there is nothing to be said.
sometimes nothing should be said.
i just want to find someone who wont run away.”
“i’m used to the fight, i’ve always had to fight for you.
nobody ever comes this easy to me. no one ever has.”
“You can’t explain why you love someone, you can’t…you just do.”
“I hate it that you’re not around,
and the fact that you didn’t call.
But mostly, I hate the way I don’t hate you.
not even close, not even a little bit.”
-10 Things I Hate About You
there’s no such thing as a perfect guy. i think it would be strange if somebody was absolutely everything you always wanted, because then there’d be no challenge. you’d feel inferior.
“For this one night, could we try to forget everything besides just you and me? it seems like I can never get enough time like that. i need to be with you. Just you.”
think what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world, had cookies and milk about three o’clock every afternoon and then lay down on our blankets for a nap.
“before i met you, i never knew what it was like to look at someone and smile for no reason.”
“Stop talking about love. Every asshole in the world says he loves somebody. It means
nothing. It still doesn’t mean anything. What you feel only matters to you. It’s what you do
to the people you say you love, that’s what matters. It’s the only thing that counts.”
because the odds of you finding your “soul-mate” in your hometown in a world of billions ArePrettyFuckingSlim..
“For once in my life, I’m at a loss of words. The truth of the matter is.
being with you was the only time I have ever been happy.”
..Your arms feel like home..
I wish there was something, that I could say or do; I can resist anything but the temptation from you. But I’d rather walk alone than chase you around, I’d rather fall myself, than let you drag me down.
The more you get hurt in the world of love, the wiser you are in the life of love.
Do you ever want to call me at 2 a.m.?
Do you ever just want to give me a hug and never let go?
Do you ever just want to lean in and kiss me?
Do you ever just want to go up to me and tell me how much you love me?
Do you ever just stare out your window and think about me?
Do you ever just feel like you want to be with me forever?
Do you ever just want to grab my hand and never let go?
Because with you I’d withstand all of hell to hold your hand…
Twist your words dear, mold them into these false promises.
Never shed a tear when you turned your back. Drift away,
but I’ll rise from the ash. So are you listening? Cause I want you to hear me now.
“I’ve tried forgetting but that didn’t seem to work. So I’ve come
to terms with who you are and who you’ve been. The only thing
I wish you could see is what you really could be. Your past doesn’t
make you or decide who you are. And I know you’re not sorry,
but I’ve forgiven you.”
The grass is not greener on the other side, you just have to water your own.
“just keep me close tonight
under the covers, she said lets make this right
cause we’re all we’ll ever need and we got time.”
because sometimes there is no easy way out. you just have to grin and bear it. sometimes the only escape route is to go straight through the flames, just brace yourself and bite your lip. sometimes you have to sever the ties clean off. because in every relationship there comes a point when the damage is too much and no matter how good it once was, the memories can’t sustain you. you have to save yourself knowing all the while it will hurt like hell. because you can’t keep giving someone everything if you get nothing in return.
I feel like I’m never gonna get it, the whole package, there’s always going to be a “but”. He likes me, but he loves her. He thinks I’m awesome, but we’re just friends. We’re together, but he feels a million miles away. We like each other, but the timing isn’t right.
“as long as i have you, nothing else matters.”
“strong is fighting. it’s hard and it’s painful, and it’s everyday. it’s what we have to do, and we can do it together.
but if you’re too much of a coward for that, then burn. if i can’t convince you that you belong in this world, then i don’t know what can. but do not expect me to watch, and don’t expect me to mourn for you.”
I wanted to be the person he told things to. I wanted him to think I was pretty. I wanted him to be reminded of me by stuff I liked – pistachios and hooded sweatshirts and the Dylan song “Girl from the North Country” – and I wanted him to miss me when we were apart. I wanted him to feel, when we were lying in bed together, like he couldn’t imagine anywhere better.
“i soon realized that loving someone gave them
every right to break you.”
He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. (Revelation 21:4)
you’re closer to anyone else in the world.
The next second,
you might never see them again.
“It happened. There’s no avoiding it. No forgetting.”
I used to adore you, I couldn’t control you. There was nothing that I wouldn’t do to keep myself around and close to you. Do you have an opinion? A mind of your own? I thought you were special. I thought you should know. But I’ve run out of patience. I’ve run out of comments. I’m tired of the violence. I couldn’t care less.
Because that’s what people do.
and hope to God they can fly,
because otherwise you just drop like a rock,
wondering the whold way down,
why in the hell did i jump?
But here I am, falling,
and the only one that can make me feel like I can fly….
“we were loving blind, borderline reckless.”
don’t think that I’m not with him.
And when you’re kissing her,
don’t think for a second that I’m not kissing him
and my hands aren’t where they’re supposed to be.
when there’s something you really want, fight for it, don’t give up no matter how
hopeless it seems. And when you’ve lost hope, ask yourself if 10 years from now,
your gonna wish you gave it just one more shot. Because the best things in life,
they don’t come free.
Well, I should know so much better than this..but you’ve occupied the center of my universe.
So don't explain cause I know exactly what you're going to say.
Big words, recycled phrases,
and the bittersweet taste of other girls on your lips.
so i said “I’m 19 and i have green eyes…
and i’m in love with a boy and if you ask him,
My heart is yours to to fill or burst.
To break or bury. Or wear as jewelry.
Whichever you prefer.
So take your cold, cold heart and drown.
And don't forget to take deep breaths.
I've come a long way, you can say i've learned some lessons,
to not wear my heart on my sleeve & always keep from guessing.
But it's hard not to be naive because you're saying
all the right things but I wont fall forwards.
So this time, you got to show me things.
This could break my heart or save me.
Nothing’s real until you let go completely.
So here I go with all my thoughts I’ve been saving.
So here I go with all my fears weighing on me.
i mean, what the fuck did he want me to say?
"it's okay that you jerked me around and treated me like shit.
now that I have received this enormous bouquet of seasonal flowers,
i'm beginning to see you in a very different light.
suddenly the past is growing hazy.
all the hateful things you did and said have grown distant and hard to recall.
so if you want to come by for some coffee or a drink at your convenience,
i would love to say hello and give you a blow job!"