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a writer without a pen but given a blank page..

         

 

 

 

my dream house.. literally.. i had a dream that i lived in a house almost exactly like this a couple months ago but I couldn’t describe it out loud i could only picture it in my head… then yesterday i saw this…

 

 

Maybe God put a few bad people in your life, so
when the right one came along you’d be thankful.

 

I’m like a bird given wings, but put in a cage,
a singer stripped of a voice but shoved on stage,
a writer without a pen but given a blank page,
I’m a girl given a heart, & a boy who walked away.

 

 

I hate the times when you want something so bad you trick yourself
into believing it can happen, even when common sense tells you to give up.

 

 

this is me getting my first and only tattoo over a year ago.. a lip tattoo that says ‘psycho’.. long story haha

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“Call us old school. but sometimes the fairy tale requires
the knight to get off his ass and saddle up his steed.”

 

When my world is falling apart, when there’s no light to break up the dark
that’s when I look at you. When the waves are flooding the shore
And I can’t find my way home any more
That’s when I look at you

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But you can’t wrap your arms around a memory.

 

Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our
standing in our own sunshine.

 

People always think that the most painful thing is losing the one you love in
your life. the truth is, the most painful thing is losing yourself in the process
of loving someone too much, forgetting that you are special too.

 

Don’t ever break for someone who would never bend for you.

 

See, that’s the thing, I don’t wish you were dead or completely unhappy
& I don’t wish someone would break your heart – mostly I just
wish you were here.

 

They said, “Let her crash and burn,
she’ll learn.”

 

Make sure your tears are always washing something away

 

If I don’t cry, do you think I don’t feel? If I look away, it doesn’t
mean I don’t see. & just because I want someone when I’m alone,
it doesn’t mean that I’m hopeless, that I can’t stand on my own.

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I’m here. Not because I am supposed to be here or because I’m trapped here,
but because I’d rather be with you than anywhere else in the world.

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She smokes like there’s no tomorrow, she says it makes her feel alive.
She drinks her wine like water because she feels dry inside. She drives
her car like it’s a bullet, she says that time is slipping away. She never
thinks about her future, it’s a million miles away.

 

Take a walk in my shoes; you’ll fall on the first step.

 

I wasn’t asking for a four page apology letter.
I just wanted you to know what you put me through. That’s all.

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I don’t care how far you are from me, or how long its been
since we’ve talked, I don’t care how mad I got at you, or how
mad you’ve been at me, you’re still what matters most to me,
& i’m never gonna give that up.

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What you need to know about the past is that no matter
what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this
very moment. And this is the moment you can chose to make
everything new.

 

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

 

Be strong now, because things will get better.
it might be stormy now, but it can’t rain forever.

 

I am flawed but I am cleaning up so well.
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself.

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It took standing outside your old house as the rain started to
pour to realize I can’t keep living like you’re going to walk right out
your front door, because all it’s made me is wet, cold & alone.

 

You want everything to be just like the stories
that you read but never write.

 

– You were a lot to me. You were the one person I could call
when I was in a bad mood who would unknowingly cheer me up.
You were reason I woke up every morning & spent 3 hours on
my makeup. But most of all, you were suppose to have been mine, but
you never even gave me that chance.

 

– The truth is, I never knew what I wanted in a boy.
Then you came around, and showed me what I need.

 

– I remember my hand in yours, your eyes looking into mine,
and thinking things could never be any better than this.

 

I’m pretty good at making the world cave in around me.

 

You know when you have a scab & you pick at it,
or something jabs at it, & it starts bleeding
all over again – just when you thought it was going to
heal? Well, that’s my heart right now, & I’d like it if you’d
please stop jabbing at it. I’m tired of bleeding because of you

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There’s nothing worse than looking in the mirror,
and seeing someone so unfamiliar.

 

I had the chance to tell him everything he ever made me feel.
But I choked up on my insecurities all over again.

 

I’m hoping for the day you meet a girl who treats people like you do.
I hope you fall for her & I hope she makes you think she fell for you too.
And while you’re planning your life together, I hope she gets up and walks
right out your front door. I hope you never see her again, and I hope that
breaks your fucking heart.

 

I told all my friends that you were so perfect. & now I’ve
learned the art of speaking too soon.

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Sometimes I still think I’m going to turn a corner,
and you’ll be there waiting.

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I may be used to the abandonment, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

 

The day will come when your searching ceases.

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It was like, I gave you everything I had.
Every ounce of emotion went towards you.
I made every single day revolve around you
& now you’re gone & I’m empty.

 

You look perfectly held together, like a glued puzzle. Fooling
everyone into thinking that you’ve pieced your life together.
But I bet if I touched you, you’d fall apart.

 

No – I don’t love him. He doesn’t give me the butterflies you always did.
I never break out in a smile in the middle of day because I’m thinking of
him – but he’s comfortable and reliable, and that’s enough for now.

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You know, things are falling apart, as much as I wish they
weren’t – they are. & unfortunately there’s nothing I can do
but pick up the pieces & try to keep on breathing.

 

– Yeah, I’m broken. But I’ll be okay. Day after day I’ll look for
all the pieces of myself you scattered around, it’ll take
a while, but I’ll be whole again soon enough.

 

Don’t be surprised that when you finally realized that you care,
you look behind you and I’m not there.

 

When you finally decided to walk away from him what did you
think was going to happen? Birds were going to sing and a light
would come shining threw? Hasn’t anyone ever told you it isn’t
always the easy things that are the right thing to do?

 

& I still can’t get threw a day without thinking about you;
but it’s starting to hurt just a little less.

 

So thanks for telling me you no longer think I was such a
waste of your time. But you’re a little too late, because I
realized you were a waste of mine.

 

So I’m going to kick off these heels and run into the night.
I don’t know where I’m running too, but I’ve got every
intent of winding up next to you.

 

I just wanted to let you know that I’m okay now. No
thanks to you though. So yes, I trekked the road alone &
made it – but it would have been nice to have a hand to hold.

 

– I’m tired of going to sleep broken & waking up the same way. I
always use to hope when I closed my eyes, I’d open them to a new
day, but lately it all seems to be the same.

 

– I’m not saying every day is going to be worth waking up in the
morning for, but you have too, or you’ll never stumble upon the days
that really, truly, are.

 

& she’d like to think the whole world was out to get her.
Because in all honesty, if she were to turn around – there wouldn’t
be a soul behind her, & that’s how it always been.

 

You know how they tell you to never take a break when walking in
the heat? Well maybe that’s just a common life lesson. Maybe you’ve
always gotta just keep moving

 

I’m gonna miss watching you while you sleep
‘Cause that was the only time I ever found some peace
I used to believe that it was me who was insane
But now I take it back ’cause compared to you I’m okay
Every Avenue – (I Forgive You)

 

Don’t be afraid of change. you may be losing something good,
but you’ll probably end up gaining something better.

 

When the sun burns out & the ocean
dries out I’ll still be by your side.

 

The reason so many people find it so hard to be happy is
that they will always see the past better than it was,
the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved
than it will be.

 

Here’s a big fuck you to the calls I waited for. The dates
I hoped for, the love I wanted, the tears I cried & the
heart you broke. Asshole.

 

I guess I never let you go, because in the back of my mind,
I still believe that someday we’ll get our second chance.

 

Yes, a heart can hallucinate, when it’s starved for love.
It can even make monsters seem like angels from above.

 

Words could be so powerful if people only meant what they said.

 

Now my eyes burn and I’ve been crying all night,
you’re not here and nothing seems right.

 

It hurts when people say I don’t have feelings.
I do, I’m just afraid of showing them.

 

I don’t want on & off anymore.
I want always & forever.

 

And it’s been 10 days without you in my reach, and the only time I’ve
touched you is in my sleep. But time has changed nothing at all.
You’re still the only one that feels like home.

 

That girl’s read one too many summer romance novels.
But she’s trying to make up for the story she never had.

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You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks or even months
over analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying
what could have would’ve happened or you can just leave the pieces
on the floor and move the fuck on.

 

Life is like an hourglass ,eventually everything hits the bottom &
all you have to do is wait it out until someone comes along
& turns it around.

 

He lied to you a thousand times. He hurt you twice as much as
that & you’re gonna tell me you still love him? For what –
breaking your heart?

 

And boy, you’re the reason the weekends
are filled with empty vodka bottles.

 

& what hurts the most is knowing that even though
you’re my world, I’m not even a star in your sky.

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Your heart just breaks. That’s all. But you can’t judge
or point fingers you just have to be lucky enough
to find someone who appreciates you.

 

A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

 

“Reading gives us somewhere to go when we have
to stay where we are.”
– Mason Cooley

 

Everyone else is either asleep or having sex.
I’ve been watching cable television & eating jello.

 

 

sometimes you gotta get fucked up to feel sober, cry to see clear,
and fall down a hundred times before you learn to pick yourself up again

 

Cause my clothes smell like cigarettes and they used to smell like you.

 

I’m to loyal and too focused, to be losing and be hopeless

 

But someday, someone is going to thank you for letting me go.

 

you’re not my type..
but i think i like that.
because my type usually breaks my heart.

 

Don’t stop, make it pop, DJ blow the speakers up tonight.

 

Cause you had a good girl, that’s a keeper.
You had a good girl but didn’t know how to treat her.
So silly boy get out of my face, why do you like the way regrets taste.

 

Maybe I could have loved you better, maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were next in line, maybe everything breaks sometimes.

 

Just live, make mistakes and have wonderful times.
But never second guess who you are, where you’ve
been and most importantly, where your going.

 

life’s a game, but its not fair.
i break the rules, so i dont care.
so i keep doin’ my own thing walkin’ tall against the rain.

 

i’m a lover and a fighter. i get angry easily, but im working on it.
i party , sleep and think to much, but i get my shit done.
i have a weakness for sweet talkers but im learning and enforcing my boundaries.
i don’t let many people in, but once they’re in they’re there forever.

 

 

i’m strong and independent and i’ve been broken , but never shattered .

 

 

 

 

 

 

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