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an update :)

  

  

one more day, one more time, one more sunset maybe i’d be satisfied..but then again.. i know what it would do..leave me wishing still for one more day with you

 

 

you think that i can’t see what kind of man that you are, if you’re a man at all..

 

 

i love you. that’s my secret. no hearts or pretty drawings. no poems or cryptic messages. i love you.

 

 

you probably don’t even remember half the things i’ll never forget.

 

 

you’re walking down a road that i can’t go

 

 

he’s like no one i’ve ever met before. he’s not right for me, but that’s what makes me want him even that much more. when i’m with him, it’s like i’m split in half. half of me is on fire, going crazy if i’m not touching him. and the other half is like water and it’s content with where we’re at.

 

 

let’s ignore each other, and try to pretend the other doesn’t exist. but deep down, let’s know it wasn’t supposed to end like this.

 

 

i’ve always been a tough girl, sometimes i wish it wasn’t the way i was raised to be.

 

 

i made a lot of mistakes before i got to you, each one honest and none that i regret. the same way a tree bends in the wind and twists and turns before it can touch the sky.

 

 

i want a simple love, that is full of laughter and smiles and is never-ending. i want to hold someone’s hand and know i’m home. i want to wear a pretty white dress and walk into the chapel and watch his face light up. i want to be naive, head-over-heels, and completely senseless but completely in love. i want to sit in rocking hairs at 80 years old, next to the one person who has never left and who made me better, and not regret one single second of my life. i hope i’ll find this someday. until then, i’m happy to wait.

 

 

i don’t need you to love me. but you have to open up your heart to somebody. you’ve gotta let someone discover how staggering you are. just don’t be alone. that i can’t live with. — One Tree Hill

 

 

i’ll understand your silence. because sometimes, you’ll have to understand mine.

 

 

i’m letting go of everything i used to love, dropping all the things i cared about, and for once i’m doing everything for myself. i won’t worry about if we’re going to be together, because why should i care when you never did.

 

 

speak the truth, even if your voice shakes.

 

 

you paste me in just to cut me out.

 

 

one of the cruelest things you can do to another person is pretend that you care about them more than you really do.

 

 

i pray that you’re okay.that it’s okay. i pray that all the parts of you that i remember are still there. i pray that you’re happy. even if it’s not with me.

 

 

you ask me what’s wrong, and you sound so sincere, but i wonder what you would do if i said everything that was wrong had to do with you.

 

 

all i see in you is another mistake wrapped over my shoulder.

 

 

God help me keep moving somehow, don’t let me start wishing i was with him now.. i’ve made it this far without crying a single tear, so i’d sure hate to break down here.

 

 

i’m gonna let him fly. you must always know how long to stay and when to go. is it over yet?

 

 

i’m waiting for you to say anything.

 

 

your eyes scream the end is creeping end. i’ll need thirty-seven stiches, to keep the pain in. i know you are the only one, on the darkest side of the sun

 

 

i kept everything inside. and even though i tried, it all fell apart. what it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when i tried so hard and got so far, but in the end it doesn’t even matter. i had to fall to lose it all, but in the end it doesn’t even matter.

i tried so hard in spite of the way you were mocking me, acting like i was part of your property. remembering all the times you fought with me, i’m surprised it got so far. things aren’t the way they were before, you wouldn’t even recognize me anymore. not that you knew me back then but it all comes back to me in the end.

 

 

i don’t feel you anymore. you darken my door. whatever you’re looking for, hey, don’t come around here no more.

i’ve given up, stop. i’ve given up, stop. i’ve given up, stop. on waiting any longer. i’ve given up, on this love getting stronger. don’t come around here no more.

— tom petty

 

 

i try to remember to forget you but i break down every time i do. it’s left me at less than zero beat down and bruised.

 

 

why does it feel like night today? something in here’s not right today. why am i so uptight today? paranoia’s all i got left.

it’s like i’m paranoid lookin’ over my back. it’s a whirlwind inside of my head. it’s like i can’t stop what i’m hearing within. it’s like the face inside is right beneath my skin.

 

 

you can say you’ve got issues, you can say you’re a victim. it’s all your parents’ fault, i mean after all you didn’t pick ’em. maybe somebody else has got time to listen, my give a damn’s busted.

 

 

and i wanted. you turned away. you don’t remember, but i do. you never even tried.

 

 

i can’t bite my tongue forever, while you try to play it cool. you can hide behind your stories, but don’t take me for a fool.

 

 

so don’t try to say you’re sorry or try to make it right. don’t waste your breath because it’s too late, it’s too late.

 

 

i had things, i need to say, but now it’s like a swallowed tape that holds up my face from inside. as everything just falls apart ’cause everything just fell apart for me.

 

 

just don’t deny it and deal with it. yeah, deal with it. you try to break me, you wanna break me bit by bit. that’s just part of it.

i try to make you see my side. i always try to stay in line, but you’re eyes see right through. that’s all they do. i’m getting tired of this shit, i got no room when it’s like this, but you order me – just deal with it!

 

 

if you won’t be there for me, you won’t be there for me.

 

 

i know what darkness means, and the void you left for me. the isolation stings, so think it wants to bleed. the echoes in my brain, of the things you said to me. you took my everything.

 

 

and she said, “i think we’re running out of alcohol. tonight, i hate this fucking town. and all my best friends will be the death of me, but they won’t ever remember, remember.”

 

 

but i can’t pretend this is the way, it’ll stay, i’m just, trying to bend the truth. i can’t pretend i’m who you want me to be so i’m lying my way from you… no, no turning back now… i wanna be pushed aside so let me go…. no, no turning back now… let me take back my life, i’d rather be all alone… no turning back now… anywhere on my own, cause i can see… no, no turning back now… the very worst part of you… is me…

 

 

it’s nice to know that you were there. thanks for acting like you cared, and making me feel like i was the only one. it’s nice to know we had it all. thanks for watching as i fall, and letting me know we were done.

 

 

at least i’m gonna say that i tried – what’s the sense of hurtin’ my pride?

 

 

you absolutely destroyed me, did you know that? but you know what, i just wanna say thank you. i don’t regret meeting you, but i don’t wish you would magically come back into my life again because i believe God gives us someone like this for a reason. someone who will hurt you a million times, someone who will leave you and not look back. but this person, they will make you a better person in the end. you will come out stronger than ever before and you will be happier without him than you were with him.

 

 

things are never what they seem. lately you’re all i dream. well i’m running but i’m not getting anywhere. do you even care?

 

 

i bruise you, you bruise me. we both bruise so easily, too easily to let it show. i love you and that’s all i know.

 

 

just because I look like I’m doing better, doesn’t mean I feel any better. I’m getting better at dealing with it, and better at hiding it. But I want you to know, it still hurts the same, or maybe worse. I need you to know that I don’t want people to make excuses for me because I am depressed, but it would be nice for somebody to recognize how hard it is to function day to day.

 

 

here’s to the moments where we didn’t think about right and wrong. where we just lived, crossed our fingers, and hoped for the best.

 

 

you’re unwilling to go out on a limb because it just might break underneath you. you know what your problem is? if you never go out on that limb, you’re missing one hell of a view.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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