“attempting” suicide.

When asked the question, have you ever attempted suicide?, I usually say no. No, but I’ve certainly thought about it. But what I really mean is, No, I’ve never put a gun to my head that I knew was loaded and pulled the trigger, hearing the click but avoiding the boom.. And I’ve never tied a rope around my neck and felt the rope break free from the ceiling as soon as I kicked the stool back.. But I have taken enough drugs to most likely overdose but not enough to guarantee it, and then just fell asleep, secretly hoping that I would never wake up, but leaving it solely up to the universe to decide. Not wanting to risk my own blood on my hands. So what exactly is “attempting suicide”? I don’t know.


2 thoughts on ““attempting” suicide.

  1. I know what you mean, I have in the past taken pills but not enough to actually die but enough to make me drowsy and possibly sleep it all out. I sometimes think the way I engage in bulimia rituals is a slow form of suicide, I don’t know I just know that my body is dying on me. I’m glad you didn’t take enough pills to end it all, there has got to be a way out somewhere.


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